Be Clear About What You Really Want
Do you ever struggle to articulate what you really want to say to someone, and end up body swerving that difficult topic?
Maybe you want to ask your boss for a pay rise, or for more recognition for all the work you’ve been doing on a project, or tell someone that you’re really not happy with the way they’re treating you.
Does your mind get deliberately foggy, blurring the lines between the thing your avoiding, and the real truth of what you’d like to communicate?
Yep, this is so common.
Isn’t it a universal truth that we tend to avoid anything that might bring us into confrontation …. so it might feel more comfortable keeping that fog in place.
But at what cost ?
What if you were to come right out and say exactly what you want to that person.
Would they listen?
Would they get angry and shout at you ?
What are you really afraid of?
You might be so used to keeping the peace, being ‘nice’, not upsetting people, that your own needs become buried underneath this well worn habit.
Yet when we’re clear in communicating what we really want, it’s so much easier to get our needs met.
When my daughter was tiny, I used to take her to playgroups,
and I’d sit with the other Mums and watch her play. It always amazed me how easily young children communicate what they want to everyone around them – they take toys when they want, they go where they want, and all without self consciousness, or any thought about the effects they have on others.
They’re clear about their needs, and express them openly (sometimes quite vocally!).
Young children have a purity of will and determination, that makes it so easy for them to get what they want (or tell you very clearly when they haven’t!)
It’s at some later stage, certainly after they start school, that their behaviour starts to become more constricted, as they have to learn the rules about what’s ‘appropriate’ and what isn’t.
But at what stage do we begin to cut off from our essential knowing of what we want and need ?
I believe that as we grow up and have to ‘fit in’ with expectations and the needs of others, we can lose touch with our own essence ….
Yet once you notice that you’ve lost it, you CAN claim it back!
How can you communicate what you really want to say?
But wait, there’s more!